The Andrew Extravaganza

I don’t really care enough to do research on the issues, so I’ll be sticking with sweeping generalizations and second hand knowledge (consider this a warning and preemptive apology to those with thin skins). I don’t think deep knowledge of Islam is a pre-requisite to passing judgment. It’s like the Enron trials that just kicked off in Houston; we don’t need to go through the dog and pony show of a trial to know where the guilt lies.

I know very little about Islam, in fact, I know so little that I can list what I do know succinctly (and I truly do apologize for my ignorance…but I might add that my list about Christianity wouldn’t be much longer):

1) Allah is God. Muhammad is his Prophet.
2) Muhammad rode a magical horse into heaven.
3) Pigs and booze are bad.
4) Mecca and another city are holy sites and host many yearly pilgrimages.
5) Islam is by nature a peaceful religion.
6) Hakeem Olajuwon edges out Muhammad Ali as my favorite Muslim ever.

Number 5 isn’t to be taken too literally, kind of like Christians blowing up abortion clinics to prevent unhappy or desperate mothers-to-be from committing murder. I suspect number 3 is also negotiable. Number 7 (with a bullet) would be that it is a great sacrilege to print the image of Muhammad. I mention the bullet because I just heard that one recently; I’m not entirely sure if that’s an official rule. Judging by the world-wide shit storm kicked off by a cartoon, I’ll ere on the side of truth.

Political cartoons are a waste of time; I ignore them completely. It’s a shame others aren’t more like me. In my opinion, that Danish paper wasn’t wrong to print the cartoon, but they had to know it was like kicking a hornet’s nest. Here’s a collage of some of the cartoons that paper has run:

Muslims are like Sue from Swingers. They’re basically cool, and you can hang out with them and have a swell time. But you had better fucking beware that time somebody slights them (and you know it’s not a question of IF, but WHEN), because they’re going to pull a piece and start waving it around.

Granted, I can see how the cartoon might be offensive. I can even see how it’s worth protesting and Danish products? Let’s take a deep breath and check ourselves before we say something in the heat of the moment that we might regret.

Whoops. That ship has sailed. (more reading)

I know there are underlying cultural and economic issues at play and Europe and the world at large need to deal with these issues to nip future violence in the bud. I know these massive demonstrations are just a symptom of a larger illness. I know the protests are ridiculous anyway.

A cartoon is not a valid reason to grab your AK and start burning every western flag you can get your hands on (and does anyone else find it strange how readily obtainable the Danish flag is?).

To every religious person: Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, etc, etc, etc, and every type of fanatic in general: Stop taking yourself so seriously and grow a thicker skin. Let’s all try to develop a sense of humor and wait for a legitimate event to go off the deep end into an international incident.

Added at 11:21 am on February 4th: Some Bonus Coverage!
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A flaming embassy. That's why they can't have nice things. Isn't it about time somebody mentions to the protestors that the Danish government doesn't control the Danish press?

I like the Freedom Go to Hell sign, it's very impressively ignorant and ironic.

Your list of things you know about Islam is actually quite good, more than the average person, especially the horse into heaven part, although some stories have it as a donkey.

So, I expected this whole thing to blow over about, ooohh, 5 days ago but it's still going strong. "Strong" isn't really the word for it; people are dying over these cartoons.

To be honest, I'm a bit shocked by all this. I mean, I know cheap shots at another religion are a bit, well, cheap, but surely it's not worth killing, burning, and generally making an ass of yourself over. I'm not entirely sure of what these protesters are trying to achieve with their violence. Surely all the major religions agree on one thing; i.e. violence is bad... right? Going batshit loco just fuels the flames. Now the ill-informed masses have exposure to the debacle and what a nice first impression it is.

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